Becoming Playful

It might be too hard, asking too much. Telling your self to be playful might be like telling your self to be happy. Granted, it’d be great if you were happy. Or even just more playful. But if you don’t think you’re either, telling your self to be happy or playful isn’t going to make it happen. In fact, it’s likely to make you depressed, frustrated, [and] angry at your self for being someone you just don’t want to be.

That’s what worries me about this whole idea of telling your self to be playful when you think you’re not. I mean, who’s telling whom? Is the self that’s telling you to change such an expert in playfulness that it can change you? I don’t think so. I think that particular self is anything but playful. That’s the very self that gets so serious, so humorless, [and] so disparaging. And the self it’s talking to is probably the one that feels bad about itself, feels that there’s something wrong with it, something that needs to be, heaven forfend, changed.

It’s a good idea to be more playful. Just like it’s a good idea to be happier. But to get there, you need to stop telling your self to be different.

Try this, instead. Try letting your self tell you. Ask it to let you know when it’s feeling happy or playful. In fact, I’d suggest an even simpler question. Ask it to tell you when it’s having fun.

Fun, like I say somewhere later on, is easy. Playful, happy, maybe not so much. But fun? You can have fun watching television. OK, maybe not like deep fun. But fun, nevertheless. You can have fun reading, browsing, searching for something on the computer. You can have fun eating. Chewing gum. Knitting. Taking a walk. Tasting. Feeling. Smelling. Listening. Touching. You can have fun watching someone else have fun.

After a while, after you’ve spent enough time listening to your self talk about all the fun you’re having, you can start asking your self to tell you when you’re feeling playful or even happy. It’s easier for your self now because you’ve been talking so much about the fun you’re having, and usually when you’re having fun, that’s what you’re feeling ­ happy, playful even. Maybe not deeply happy or profoundly playful, but, you know, you’re having fun, and, well, that’s what makes you happy, makes you want to play, makes you even want to get other people and beings and things to play with you.

And then, see, you’ve become the playful person you always were, but never thought you were enough, never noticed, never allowed your self to believe in. And so your life starts feeling even more fun, and you start feeling even happier, being even more playful. Just like that.

From: A Playful Path by Bernard De Koven

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River by Bill Staines

River by Bill Staines

I was born in the path of the winter wind
I was raised where the mountains are old
Their springtime waters came dancing down
And I remember the tales they told

The whistling ways of my younger days
Too quickly have faded on by
But all of their memories linger on
Like the light in a fading sky

River, take me along in your sunshine, sing me a song
Ever moving and winding and free
You rolling old river, you changing old river
Let’s you and me, river, run down to the sea

I’ve been to the city and back again
I’ve been moved by some things that I’ve learned
Met a lot of good people and I’ve called them friends
Felt the change when the seasons turned

I’ve heard all the songs that the children sing
And listened to love’s melodies
I’ve felt my own music within me rise
Like the wind in the autumn trees

River, take me along in your sunshine, sing me a song
Ever moving and winding and free
You rolling old river, you changing old river
Let’s you and me, river, run down to the sea

Someday when the flowers are blooming still
Someday when the grass is still green
My rolling waters will round the bend
And flow into the open sea

So, here’s to the rainbow that’s followed me here
And here’s to the friends that I know
And here’s to the song that’s within me now
I will sing it wherever I go

River, take me along in your sunshine, sing me a song
Ever moving and winding and free
You rolling old river, you changing old river
Let’s you and me, river, run down to the sea

By the way, the featured image is Song of the River by Maxwindy:

https://maxwindy.deviantart.com/art/Song-of-the-river-175289792

Chimney Peak trail musings

Last weekend i hiked from McQuade Creek and camped a night at Donaca Lake.  The trail challenged me, especially when it rained the next morning.

Years ago forest service road 1142 was impassable, as i vaguely recalled.  Last weekend i found the road clear all the way to the trailhead.  The trail itself is in poor repair and badly overgrown, but i found a surprisingly clear section about 5 or 6 miles in.  The blog post below shows a photo of the formerly blocked road.  Also, i believe its author is responsible for the surprisingly clear section of the trail.  If i had all the time in the world, then i would also like to pack a pair of loppers out to do volunteer clearing on the McQuade Creek/Chimney Peak trail.

road-1142-formerly-blockedhttp://www.cascadiahiking.com/2012/06/mcquade-creek-trail-spring-gateway-into.html

Below is an amusing photo from the nearby Swamp Creek trailhead, captioned “not feeling the love.”

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAhttps://vanmarmot.org/2017/07/19/that-long-last-mile-middle-santiam-wilderness-19-jul-2017/

Note that there is a large landslide just west of Fitt Creek.  There the trail is easily lost and it is advisable to hike during daylight, good weather, and with a walking stick.
Also of interest is McNabb Falls, described briefly in the post below.
“If you have 2-3 extra hours you can even hike down stream to the waterfall, but it’s a pretty tough hike and I wouldn’t really recommend it unless you have a whole day to do it.  There is no official trail down, just follow the creek bed down stream and you will eventually reach the falls. The falls are called McNabb falls and I would guess they are 100+ feet high.  I’ve only been there once about 25 years ago and they looked pretty cool from the top but also a bit dangerous.”
An old-timer at the trailhead told me that the Chimney Peak lookout is historically significant because it was an early Oregon fire lookout dating back to the 1800’s. He said the cast-iron supports still stick out of the rocks.

The following web page mentions this lookout being added to patrol service in 1931.  So far i have not been able to find any record that the lookout existed in the 1800’s.

2325759_orig

http://oregonlookouts.weebly.com/chimney-peak.html

Shine by Kim Adonna

Shine
This is your time
You are glowing under the moon
You are shining near the fire
You will arise
each morning
moving yourself up
to the highlands
of your own heart
Keep going
you deliciously sweet framework
of brains and bones
Your existence is a miracle…

-Kim Adonna 2015

I will look for joy today

I will look for joy today
Written by Aña Marjenka

I will look for joy today
I will look for joy
And because i’m looking for joy today
I’ll find it in unexpected places
I’ll find it
I’ll find it
I know i will find joy
I’ll find it
I’ll find it
Because i have joy inside me

I will look for love today
I will look for peace today
I will look for healing today
I will look for silliness today
I will look for abundance today
I will look for wonder today
I will look for gratitude today
I will look for magic today
I will look for friendship today
I will look for forgiveness today
I will look for music today
I will look for health today
I will look for life today
I will look for rainbows today
I will look for freedom today
I will look for art today

https://archive.org/details/i-will-look-for-joy-today

Love

Look at you, kids, with your vintage music
Comin’ through satellites while cruisin’
You’re part of the past, but now you’re the future
Signals crossing can get confusing

It’s enough just to make you feel crazy, crazy, crazy
Sometimes, it’s enough just to make you feel crazy

You get ready, you get all dressed up
To go nowhere in particular
Back to work or the coffee shop
Doesn’t matter ’cause it’s enough
To be young and in love
To be young and in love

Look at you, kids, you know you’re the coolest
The world is yours and you can’t refuse it
Seen so much, you could get the blues but
That don’t mean that you should abuse it

Though it’s enough just to make you go crazy, crazy, crazy
I know, it’s enough just to make you go crazy, crazy, crazy

But you get ready, you get all dressed up
To go nowhere in particular
Back to work or the coffee shop
It don’t matter because it’s enough
To be young and in love
To be young and in love

Don’t worry, baby
Don’t worry, baby

And it’s enough just to make me go crazy, crazy, crazy
It’s enough just to make me go crazy, crazy, crazy

I get ready, I get all dressed up
To go nowhere in particular
It doesn’t matter if I’m not enough
For the future or the things to come
‘Cause I’m young and in love
I’m young and in love

Don’t worry, baby
Don’t worry, baby
Don’t worry, baby